.hold.her.like.murder.

Oct 01

Kid gets a banana as a prank gift from his parents on his birthday. Look at his excitement. This kid is my hero. 

Kid gets a banana as a prank gift from his parents on his birthday. Look at his excitement. This kid is my hero. 

Sep 30

gingerblivet:

Coulson does not know how to turn down the sass.

It’s not in his nature.

Just like it’s not in Talbot’s nature to stop being a fucking tool.

Sep 30
shodobear:

stunningpicture:

A grape, wearing a raspberry.

I am froot.

shodobear:

stunningpicture:

A grape, wearing a raspberry.

I am froot.

Sep 30

aph-satan:

randomfandomteacher:

heretical-hypothetical:

artigosaurus:

queen-of-dork:

i-am-a-cat-eins-zwei-drei:

debisanacronym1:

WHY ARE NONE OF YOU FUCKERS FLIPPING SHIT?!?

NASA HAS DECLARED PLUTO A PLANET AGAIN

IT HAS MOONS!!!!! IT HAS MOONS!!!!!!!

WHAT. WHAT! PLUTO YOU FUCKING DID IT!

VIVA LA PLUTO, YOU DID IT!!!

THE UNDERDOG

I can’t find a source. Does anyone have any? I won’t believe it until I get a source.

http://time.com/3429938/pluto-planet-vote/

Sep 30

zaynshair2k14:

bringingthetruthback:

tinalikesbutts:

So when boys want to wear tank tops, it’s okay, but when I want to do it, it’s indecent and my shoulders are going to give every boy in a 20-mile radius a boner?

if your underage and its a professional environment, wear professional clothing. women have sexual organs on their top half, men don’t, don’t you know biology??

breasts aren’t sexual organs and neither are shoulders do everyone a favor staple your hands to your ass

Sep 29

ilarual:

jaclcfrost:

char-ientism:

jaclcfrost:

jaclcfrost:

phrases like “i’ll be the distraction you go on ahead without me” generally do not have a tendency to end well

"i’ll catch up with you" no. no you probably won’t

"we’ll talk about this later" there is no later

"it’ll be alright" not for you since you just said that and doomed yourself

Sep 29

gingerblivet:

witchyroses:

kat-rampant:

WITCH FASHION WITH FAMILIARS I’M SO FUCKING HERE FOR THIS

WHAT

Suddenly, despite not being anywhere near a similar body type to these women, I want to be a runway model.

Sep 29

“It’s purely luck if you find that person, and it’s like “vroom,” and it makes sense. There’s something kind of terrifying and exhilarating about it.” - Andrew Garfield

Sep 29
pop-culture-savvy-fallen-angel:

the-fandoms-are-cool:

sistercrow:

lokanemandi:

stormcloak:

Clifford the big red dog by *sandara

OH MY GOD

Can we have a Clifford live action movie?  Not a kids movie either. 
Like, Emily Elizabeth’s parents are working for a government agency developing a super soldier serum.  None of their testing is working and they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing better results.  They inject a variety of animals, including a dog.  Nothing.  They are desperate and on the verge of having their project shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant.  It gives birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter.
To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so.  They are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit one they weren’t expecting.  There is only one problem.
Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side.  Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet.  They decide to let their project be canceled rather than try to separate the two.  Unfortunately, the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to retrieve Clifford at any costs.  During the initial conflict, Emily Elizabeth’s parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape.  Emily and her dog flee into the wild.  This sets the opening of the movie.
Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed into a survivalist expert.  She and Clifford roam the backwoods, constantly in fear of being captured.  On one of her rare trips into town one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple hostages.  She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the hostages but wreck the bank in the process.  The local news capture footage of Clifford and it isn’t long before the military arrives in town.
Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying property in their search.  She decides that enough is enough and rides Clifford back into town and fights the military.  Amidst the fighting a huge truck arrives.  A general (who was her parent’s superior officer) gets out and smirks.  He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford’s mother wasn’t the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after receiving an injection.  The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a massive tabby cat.  The cat strains against its bindings and tears free, immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring them.  Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack.
What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant cat.  Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile.  It looks like Clifford is down for the count, when the townsfolk, recognizing that Clifford is on their side, come to his aid.  They distract the cat long enough for him to finish the beast off for good. 
The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more.  But the legend of the big red dog has already started.  And Emily Elizabeth knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride into battle against the forces of evil once more.
The credits roll.
Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment.  The sound of waves crashing on shore fills the air.  The screen flashes brilliant white.  The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a rainy day.  The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out to sea.  A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in the clouds.  A smaller object rapidly approaches them.  It resolves itself into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore from them.  Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a hand on his leg.  A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his arms around himself to fight off the cold.
He approaches the two.  His hair is short and somewhat curly.  He wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a threat to the two.
“Emily Elizabeth,” he says over the sound of the crashing surf, “I worked with your parents.  It’s taken us a while to find you, after the Birdwell Island incident.”
“And who exactly is ‘us’,” she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously.
Ignoring her question, the man continues.  “Me and Clifford have a lot in common, actually.”  He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on.  “I was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss.  He’s fairly excited to talk with you.”
“You still haven’t answered my question.  Who are you and who do you work for?”
The man smiles.  “My name is Banner.  And I’m hear to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative.”

how long did you even spend writing this for that fucking twist ending because my friend you are one devoted fan

HOLY FUCK I JUST SPAZZED OUT AND EVEN DROOLED GIVE THIS TO ME NOW

pop-culture-savvy-fallen-angel:

the-fandoms-are-cool:

sistercrow:

lokanemandi:

stormcloak:

Clifford the big red dog by *sandara

OH MY GOD

Can we have a Clifford live action movie?  Not a kids movie either. 

Like, Emily Elizabeth’s parents are working for a government agency developing a super soldier serum.  None of their testing is working and they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing better results.  They inject a variety of animals, including a dog.  Nothing.  They are desperate and on the verge of having their project shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant.  It gives birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter.

To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so.  They are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit one they weren’t expecting.  There is only one problem.

Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side.  Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet.  They decide to let their project be canceled rather than try to separate the two.  Unfortunately, the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to retrieve Clifford at any costs.  During the initial conflict, Emily Elizabeth’s parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape.  Emily and her dog flee into the wild.  This sets the opening of the movie.

Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed into a survivalist expert.  She and Clifford roam the backwoods, constantly in fear of being captured.  On one of her rare trips into town one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple hostages.  She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the hostages but wreck the bank in the process.  The local news capture footage of Clifford and it isn’t long before the military arrives in town.

Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying property in their search.  She decides that enough is enough and rides Clifford back into town and fights the military.  Amidst the fighting a huge truck arrives.  A general (who was her parent’s superior officer) gets out and smirks.  He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford’s mother wasn’t the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after receiving an injection.  The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a massive tabby cat.  The cat strains against its bindings and tears free, immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring them.  Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack.

What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant cat.  Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile.  It looks like Clifford is down for the count, when the townsfolk, recognizing that Clifford is on their side, come to his aid.  They distract the cat long enough for him to finish the beast off for good. 

The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more.  But the legend of the big red dog has already started.  And Emily Elizabeth knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride into battle against the forces of evil once more.

The credits roll.

Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment.  The sound of waves crashing on shore fills the air.  The screen flashes brilliant white.  The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a rainy day.  The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out to sea.  A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in the clouds.  A smaller object rapidly approaches them.  It resolves itself into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore from them.  Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a hand on his leg.  A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his arms around himself to fight off the cold.

He approaches the two.  His hair is short and somewhat curly.  He wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a threat to the two.

“Emily Elizabeth,” he says over the sound of the crashing surf, “I worked with your parents.  It’s taken us a while to find you, after the Birdwell Island incident.

“And who exactly is ‘us’,” she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

Ignoring her question, the man continues.  “Me and Clifford have a lot in common, actually.”  He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on.  “I was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss.  He’s fairly excited to talk with you.”

“You still haven’t answered my question.  Who are you and who do you work for?”

The man smiles.  “My name is Banner.  And I’m hear to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative.”

how long did you even spend writing this for that fucking twist ending because my friend you are one devoted fan

HOLY FUCK I JUST SPAZZED OUT AND EVEN DROOLED GIVE THIS TO ME NOW

Sep 29

wynn1ng:

This was literally the funniest one. Even He couldn’t help but laugh.